the previous blog gona be an year old when jan 31`o7 comes.
jan 31 2oo5 ;
the day i knew KJA on friendster.
h0w fast time passes .. it's g0na be 2 years s0on
people c0me and go, and some stay.
it was fated that 0ur paths cr0ssed ..
be it a happy/sad ending, im grateful f0r the days we spent.
the times u made me smile/laugh/sad/cry will never be forgotten.
the times u acc0mpanied me, be it to study or f0r pr0ject, i thank u.
im s0rry if i did u any wr0ng.
i actually did hate u f0r making me so miserable.
i was 0ne pathetic DUMB SHIT ; in case u didn't realise.
i c0uldn't tell right fr0m wrong, what i did was to believe in u.
but that trust was betrayed .. n0t 0nly once, but many times.
still, i ch0se to believe in u.
but fairytales never were true ; afterall u were just a dream.
time and again i let myself go back to this but u always failed me.
if u really l0ved me, u w0uldn't do this to me ..
i l0ved u and i did what i c0uld, i d0nt think i deserve this.
i put in s0 much eff0rt but we were never meant to be.
maybe afterall, it was 0nly me who was trying too hard.
i tried t please u like u were mine king ..
just a few w0rds fr0m u would get things d0ne.
i tried t leave but u never failed t make me go back again.
i d0nt deny i stil l0ve u but im really sick of this ..
u make me feel im n0t w0rth anything.
i was just an online girl u knew ..
an0ther girl wh0 tries to understand u ..
an0ther girl wh0 thr0ws herself at u ..
i feel like a total fuckd up bitch ; total cheap.
i d0nt deny u stil affect me n0w.
i d0nt deny u will stil make me think twice ab0ut this.
i d0nt deny u are still imp0rtant.
i d0nt deny i stil hate that shar0ld.
i knew u nd l0ve u, but n0w, it's time to let it go.
i kn0w it w0nt affect u the least bit.
it was what kit me then, nd n0w, i stil feel the same.
maybe mine existence wasn't of much difference but whatever.
just go away sl0wly and d0nt c0me back ..
as much as i l0ve u ; as much as i want u .. it d0nt seem that case f0r u t me.
i can f0rgo anything t want t be with u but i guess that was redundant.
ur life will change, and mine t0o.
maybe we are really suited t be best friends instead ; crapping all day.
im really grateful t u f0r those happy times u bring.
all0wing me have s0meone t l0ve nd s0me0ne t l0ve me, if u did.
all0wing me t l0ok f0rward t going online nd chat w u.
all0wing me t l0ok f0rward t night time when i can be 0n fone w u.
etc etc etc ..
all in all ; THANKS.
i think the maj0rity 0f u will laugh seeing this.
i kn0w i've said b0ut going away nd leaving umpteen times.
im s0rry i seem like a j0ke t u all ..
it wasn't in d least nice feeling like that.
i n0e u all cared .. nd i really m grateful t all 0f u
slackers ; joy ; sijie ; li chuan ; shawn ; jiefang.
im n0thing w/o u all ..
thanks f0r always being there ; thanks f0r supp0rting me th0ugh kn0wing i'll be wr0ng..
thanks, thanks f0r everything.
w all these .. i shall end this post
Y 7:55 PM